Lawyer Mama

Blue Star Families Military Lifestyle Survey

It's that time again! Time to tell Blue Star Families the issues that are most important to your military family. If you are a military family member, veteran or service member, BSF would like to hear from you.

These annual surveys have impacted how policy makers understand and translate the needs of military families.  The data collected and shared has provided an avenue for on-the-ground, real-time feedback from military families on issues that impact not only quality of life, but national security issues.   This year’s survey includes questions on the effects of OPTEMPO, relationships, stress, and employment.  Additionally, to follow up from last year’s findings, there are new questions on exceptional family members, civic engagement and volunteerism, and public policy.

The White House Twitter Town Hall

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend President Obama's first Twitter Town Hall at the White House. And yes, I got to shake the President's hand.  More on that later....

Because I was there representing Blue Star Families, I paid close attention to the tweets regarding the military, defense spending, and veterans.

President Obama indicated that he wanted to cut defense spending gradually, making the right cuts. He said:

We can’t simply lop off 25 percent off the defense budget overnight. We have to think about all the obligations we have to our current troops who are in the field and making sure they're properly equipped and safe.

In some cases we've got outdated equipment; that needs to be replaced. And so I'm committed to reducing the defense budget. As commander in chief, one of the things that we have to do is make sure that we do it in a thoughtful way that's guided by our security and our strategic needs.  And I think we can accomplish that....

Throughout the tweets regarding defense spending, the President made it clear that veterans must remain a priority, “We’ve got to make sure that we are meeting our commitments for those veterans who are coming home.” He pointed out that we haven't fully realized the costs of all of our veterans coming home and that that the cost of caring for veterans of the recent wars won't peak for another 30 years.

One tweet asked, “Can you give companies a tax break if they hire an honorable discharged veteran?” President Obama said that the higher unemployment rate for our veterans - highly trained soldiers - makes no sense.

This is something that I’ve been talking a lot about internally.  We’ve got all these young people coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan; have made incredible sacrifices; have taken on incredible responsibilities.  You see some 23-year-old who's leading a platoon in hugely dangerous circumstances, making decisions, operating complex technologies.  These are folks who can perform.  But, unfortunately, what we’re seeing is that a lot of these young veterans have a higher unemployment rate than people who didn’t serve.  And that makes no sense.

So what we’d like to do is potentially combine a tax credit for a company that hires veterans with a campaign to have private companies step up and do the right thing and hire more veterans. And one of the things that we’ve done is internally in the federal government we have made a huge emphasis on ramping up our outreach to veterans and the hiring of veterans, and this has been a top priority of mine.  The notion that these guys who are sacrificing for our freedom and our security end up coming home and not being able to find a job I think is unacceptable.

You can read the entire Twitter Town Hall transcript here and watch the video here.

I was fortunate enough to be sitting right on the end of an aisle with my friend, Monique, from the Military Officers Association of America.  We made a pact to try and get photos of one another shaking the Presiden't hand as he came down the aisle.

Well, we both got to shake his hand, but all we got was one extremely blurry iPhone photo of part of Monique's head. So you'll just have to take my word for it!

I know that most of you know this, but I'd like to remind everyone that Blue Star Families is a nonpartisan nonprofit. We don't support or endorse candidates or a political party, not just because of IRS rules, but because the issues military families face are not partisan. While I don't make any judgments or pronouncements on White House policy in this blog post, I do from time to time on this blog. Everything I say on LawyerMama.com reflects my personal views and has absolutely nothing to do with the views of BSF.

“We can’t simply lop off 25 percent off the defense budget overnight,” he said. “We have to think about all the obligations we have to our current troops who are in the field and making sure they're properly equipped and safe.”

“In some cases we've got outdated equipment; that needs to be replaced. And so I'm committed to reducing the defense budget,” Obama said. “As commander in chief, one of the things that we have to do is make sure that we do it in a thoughtful way that's guided by our security and our strategic needs.  And I think we can accomplish that.”

Project Turtle: Los Angeles

I travel a lot. It seems to be happening more and more frequently and the boys don't like it.  But they do get excited when I send them photos of what I'm doing on my trusty iPhone.  In return, they tell me good night via video every evening.

This isn't a unique problem, but I wanted some way to keep my boys connected to me and to all of their relatives across the country.  That's where Project Turtle came in.  I bought four identical turtles.  One stays at home with the boys in Chesapeake, one travels with me, they've given one to Uncle B for his upcoming deployment to Afghanistan, and we're going to send the last one to their cousins in Montana.  The whole idea is for everyone to share photos of what they're doing and where they go with Turtle.

I really wanted to take Turtle to the White House Twitter Town Hall for his inaugural trip, but I forgot him.  Bad Mommy!  So Turtle had his first real break out on my trip to LA last week for Blue Star Families.  I really wish I'd had the presence of mind to ask one of the royals for a photo with Turtle, but I was floored to even have the chance to speak with them about military families.  So, the turtle had to settle for a picture up on the podium where the Duke of Cambridge spoke in front of 30x60 foot American and UK flags.

Without further ado, I give you Project Turtle: Los Angeles:

On the balcony of the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza. I tweeted a similar picture I took on my cell phone and the hotel retweeted me. Love it when they're paying attention!

At the Santa Monica Pier:

At the Hiring Our Heroes set up at Sony Pictures:

  I'm not sure if the boys were impressed with the turtle on the podium where the Duke would be speaking. But they loved the giant flags!

Checking out Operation Honor Cards at Sony Pictures:

I'm not sure what's next for Project Turtle, but I'll keep you posted!

 

My Brush With Royalty

I'm always telling people I have the best job in the world.  This weekend definitely proved it.

You see, Blue Star Families had a wonderful opportunity to team with ServiceNation: Mission Serve and the USO for a special service project in conjunction with the "Hiring Our Heroes" employment fair on July 10, 2011. The hiring fair was organized by ServiceNation and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and was held at Sony Picture Studios in Los Angeles.  Along with the hiring fair and service event, came two very special guests.  The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - aka Will and Kate - attended the hiring fair and participated in the service project.

For the service project, we packed 1,000 care packages for military children with parents about to be deployed.  But we had to add the special Blue Star Families twist!  Enter, Operation Honor Cards.  Throughout the hiring fair, Blue Star Families volunteers worked to collect pledges of community service in honor of our military families, service members and veterans, along with notes of thanks.  We displayed these cards on an Honor Wall during the event (see top photo) and placed some of them into the care packages.  All together, we collected pledges of more than 2,000 hours of community service in honor of military families!  I'm so excited that the families receiving those care packages will see that someone took the time to say more than just thank you, but also to take action. From the Blue Star Families 2010 Military Family Lifestyle Survey, we know that military families volunteer at very high rates.  So what better way to honor a military family than by taking the time to give back to the community?

During his speech, the Duke said, "This is the last event on our tour of North America, but to my mind, it is one of the seriously most important. This is because it is about men and women who - of their own freewill - choose to put their life on the line for their Country."  I couldn't agree more.  It meant a great deal that the Royal couple chose to use their popularity to shine a spotlight on military families, service members, and veterans. You see, we take for granted the popular support our military families receive in the U.S.  During the event, I spoke with a member of the Army in the UK who said that, while in uniform, he is frequently approached in the US and thanked for his service.  But he indicated that it's a rare occurrence in his home country.  In the UK, until recently it simply wasn't safe for service members to wear their uniforms in public, what with IRA bombings and the like.  But when the military isn't necessarily visible, I think it can be easy to forget that service members are still there, doing a dangerous job.

During the care package event, I had the chance to speak with both the Duke and Duchess.  They were disarmingly warm and engaging and asked many questions about military families and the children who will receive the packages.  The Duchess mentioned that she would love to implement service projects for military families, like this one, back in the UK.  She indicated she just hadn't had time yet.  I joked that we would give her a few months seeing as how she just got married!  But in all seriousness, I'm sure that she will do it.  I'm expecting great things from this Royal couple and I can't wait to see what they do next.

Click here for a photo of me talking to the Duchess. Yes, she's very tall.  And very skinny.  And also very sweet.  To read more about the experience, you can check out People Magazine.

Top photo by me.  The next three photos by by Ian Wagreich, courtesy of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and ServiceNation: Mission Serve. Photos below by me.

You can see the rest of my photos below:

Created with flickr slideshow from softsea.

Military Family Live Chats on Washington Post

I wanted to share something that's happening every Wednesday at 12pm EST on the Washington Post's website.  I'll be hosting a live chat for Blue Star Families about military family issues every week.  You can read over the inaugural live chat from last week.  It was amazing and so fast paced and there were some wonderful questions.  So many, in fact, that I couldn't answer them all.

This week we'll be chatting about military spouse employment and education.  How do you kep from getting your career goals from becoming derailed by the military lifestyle?  Join me and guest Sue Hoppin of the National Military Spouse Network as we take your questions and lead a great discussion.

You can submit questions now!

So I've been slacking on the blog front a lot lately.  But, but, but!  I have an excuse!  I promise to update with links to the stuff I've been writing everywhere else very soon.

Pundit Mom, Friendship, Politics, and Motherhood

When I first started blogging, I was incredibly lucky.  One of the first commenters I had (that wasn't related to me) was Joanne Bamberger.  I had been stalking her blog for awhile because I so admired her mix of smarts, motherhood and politics on her blog, Pundit Mom. When she We had so much in common, but Joanne also challenged some of my views about politics and feminism. She's made me examine my own biases through a critical lens and she does with a deft hand. (Plus, Joanna is also a recovering lawyer.  Although I didn't know it at the time, we would also eventually have the "recovering" part in common as well.)

Joanne has done so much for me professionally.  When I wouldn't call myself a "real" writer, she smacked me upside the head.  (Virtually, of course.)  She introduced me to others in the bloggy world of moms and politics.  She was my entree into the DC Metro Moms blog and we both joined MOMocrats at the same time.  She's been a loyal cheerleader and an amazing friend over the last 5 years.

In the same time, Joanne has done some wonderful things.  When we met, she was already an accomplished writer and blogger, but now her name is always mentioned as one of the top female political bloggers. She's debated conservatives on CNN, Fox and others.  She's had policy discussions with our country's legislative leaders. She works tirelessly to do all of this with civility and respect for others, something that is often lost in politics.

Now, my dear friend has written a book. Now, this post isn't a review.  I haven't read the book yet. Although, yes, I pre-ordered it on Amazon like, the moment it was available.  But I already know that it's a must read.  You see, the book, Mothers of Intention, takes its name from the series of guest posts from Joanne's blog.  On Pundit Mom, she's been running the Mothers of Intention series for several years. (My post for the series appears in February of 2008.) She features women writing about politics, bt she doesn't just feature political writers.  Joanne has managed to talk women (conservative and progressive) who swore they knew nothing about politics to open up and realize, well, HECK YEAH, maybe I DO have some opinions!  And yes, those opinions matter.

The book also brings Jo's always thoughtful analysis to the topic of how women and social media are revolutionizing politics on both sides of the aisle.  It's not just the boys' game anymore and Joanne knows it.  I can't wait to read it.  I hope you'll read it too.

In the interests of full disclosure, I should tell you that I'm a contributor to the book, although it's not the post linked above.  But I'm just one of many, many thoughtful voices in the book.  I'm actually amazed to be included with such wonderful women and I have Joanne to thank for that.

You can preorder Mothers of Intention now!

Explaining War to Our Children

I've been such a horrible blogger lately.  It's not that I haven't been writing, it's that I haven't been writing here.  Hopefully I can take some time over the next few weeks to catch up on everything happening in our crazy lives right now.

In the meantime, I had a little something in the New York Times last week about trying to explain war to my kids.  This has been, hands down, the hardest thing about being part of a military family for me.  My boys ask questions and I don't want to confuse them, but I feel dishonest covering complex issues like war and death with platitudes deoid of nuance and the political realities in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Anyway, this was a wonderful opportunity and I actually got some good suggestions in the comments (I just ignored the "baby killer" taunts).  Read on:

Explaining war to kids is always hard, but when you’re part of a military family, the task is even more difficult because it’s so personal. When my sons were little, their father was in the Navy Reserve as an intelligence officer with the Seabees, the Navy’s construction division. The boys understood what the military was in a very hazy “It must involve a ship, Daddy going away, and a large yellow bee” kind of way. But because their father wasn’t directly in harm’s way, I was able to gloss over hard questions about war and just concentrate on the fun parts of having a dad in the military from a toddler’s perspective — serving the country and wearing really cool hats.

When my brother, a soldier in the Ohio National Guard, went off to Kuwait three years ago, that explanation no longer seemed sufficient.....  Read the rest of this post on the New York Times website....

Nooooooo!

I thought we had longer.

This evening Hollis, my six year old, asked me "How do I know that Santa's real? Because I think it might just be you and Daddy giving us stuff."

He asked this in front of his younger brother as well.

Knife. Heart. Ouch.

I remember the moment I discovered the truth about Santa well because it was such a shock to my young self. I was on the bus heading to school and reading Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing when Peter dropped that bombshell about no Santa into his narrative.

I was nine.

So maybe I've always been a bit clueless, but how did my kindergartner, who is an oldest child and the oldest kid in his Montessori school classroom, figure this one out?

And how can I rewind to December and enjoy that last moment of magic all over again?

Pardon me while I go weep quietly in the corner of my blog....

Little Tiny Positives & Other Great Tragedies

This post could also be titled "Here We Go Again."

To recap, at the end of February, I had miscarriage number 6.  That would be number 2 since we started working on Baby 3.0 almost two years ago.  So now we're working on Baby 3.2.

With that backdrop, you can understand why my husband reacted with the colorful phrase "Holy fuckballs," when I texted him this photo.  Because, you see, a little tiny positive at 12DPO is a grey area of immense proportions in my world.  It could be good, it could be bad.  It all depends on where we are at 14DPO when I finally get up the nerve to call my doctor for a blood test.

I know myself.  For the next few days I will take many pregnancy tests and minutely examine each of them.  They will be more studied than climate change or Charlie Sheen's psychotic break.  Are they getting darker?  Are they getting fainter?  Is that a grey evaporation line or a clearly pink line?

Julie has it right, sometimes you can be just a little bit pregnant.  And that totally sucks.  We're in a holding pattern and I'm kicking myself for even taking a pregnancy test this early.  Pregnancy test addiction or not, it feels monumentally stupid right now.

** DPO = Days Past Ovulation

Maternal Pride

We were a little worried about Hollis going into the school year. We knew he was behind many Kindergarteners with language and reading. But we're not worried anymore:

I couldn't be more proud of my little guy!